How Parents Can Help With SAT and ACT Stress

The SAT or ACT can take up a lot of space in your teen’s head. They may be worried about getting a certain score, running out of time, comparing themselves with friends, or what a bad test day could mean for college.

You may be worried too. The good news is that you can help without becoming their test-prep coach.

Start by asking what’s actually stressing them out

Before suggesting another practice test, ask what’s really bothering them.

Maybe they’re nervous about math. Maybe their last practice score was lower than they expected. Maybe they’ve decided they need a certain score to get into a college they love. Those are all different problems.

Ask something simple like, “What part of this is stressing you out?” Then listen.

Once you know what they’re worried about, you can be more useful than you'd be by automatically telling them to study more.

Check how much their score actually matters

Testing policies vary from one college to another. Some colleges require SAT or ACT scores. Others are test-optional, meaning they let students decide whether or not to submit them.

If your teen is convinced they need a particular score, look at the colleges on their list. Check each college’s current testing policy. If it publishes score ranges for admitted students, look at those too.

That gives both of you some context. A score that feels disastrous on its own may look very different once you know how the colleges on their list handle testing.

Make sure they’re preparing for the test they’re actually taking

The SAT and ACT aren’t interchangeable experiences. The SAT is digital and adaptive. It has Reading, Writing, and Math sections and takes a little over two hours.

The ACT has English, Math, and Reading sections. Science and Writing are optional, and the current version gives students more time per question than the older ACT did.

Your teen does not need to know every technical detail about either test, but they should know what to expect before test day. Official practice materials are useful for that. The point is not to pile on hours of prep. It’s to make the format, timing, and kinds of questions feel familiar.

Use practice tests to find the problem

A practice score can tell you something, but the useful part is usually what happened underneath it. Did your teen run out of time? Are certain math questions giving them trouble? Are they making mistakes because they don’t know the material, or because they’re rushing? Knowing their area of weakness gives them something specific to work on.

“Study for the SAT” or “study for the ACT” is a huge, vague assignment. Working on pacing in Reading or a particular math skill is much easier to tackle.

You also don’t have to turn every practice score into a family meeting. Ask your teen how involved they want you to be. They may want help making time to practice. They may want you to look at scores with them. They may want to handle most of it themselves.

If one test is going badly, consider the other one

Some students feel much more comfortable with one test than the other. If your teen has been working hard on one test and still feels miserable with its format or timing, it may be worth trying an official practice version of the other test. You’re looking for the test that gives them the best chance to show what they know.

Once they choose one, they can focus their energy there instead of splitting their attention between two exams.

Handle the boring stuff before the test

Parents can be very helpful here. Check the current test-day instructions together. Make sure your teen knows where they’re going, when they need to arrive, and what they need to bring.

For the SAT, that includes making sure Bluebook is ready and the testing device is charged. College Board also has specific requirements around identification and what students can bring into the testing room.

ACT students should check their admission information, ID requirements, calculator rules, and whether they need to bring a testing device for their particular administration.

You want to do this a few days in advance. Searching for an ID or troubleshooting a laptop the night before a college entrance exam is stress you don't need.

Stop studying the night before

At some point, more preparation stops being useful. The night before the test is a good time to get everything together, charge whatever needs charging, and get some sleep.

Try not to use those last few hours to talk about their target scores or whether they’ve practiced enough. They already know the test matters.

Keep the test morning pretty normal

Help them get out the door with enough time. Make sure they have what they need and have eaten something. Then let them go take the test.

A last-minute conversation about pacing or test strategy in the car probably won’t change their score, but it may make them more nervous.

Give them some room afterward

When they walk out, you’re going to want to know how it went. Try not to ask immediately.

They may be exhausted. They may think one section went terribly. They may feel great. They may have no idea. But there's likely a lot of emotion and adrenaline coursing through their body.

Let them get some food and move on with their day for a while. There will be time to talk about scores and next steps later.

When scores arrive, look at the college list again

Try not to react to the number by itself. Go back to the colleges your teen is considering.

Look to see which schools require scores, and which are test-optional. Then consider how your teen’s score compares with the ranges the college reports for admitted students. Then talk about whether submitting the score makes sense.

You can also help them decide whether retaking the test again is worth it. For some students, another attempt is reasonable. They may know what went wrong and have a clear plan for improving. For others, that time and energy may be better spent elsewhere, like bolstering their resume with leadership activities or beginning to draft their essay. 

The bottom line is they have applications to finish, classes to keep up with, and plenty of other things happening during junior and senior year. 

Don’t let a test score tell you more than it can

The SAT and ACT measure certain academic skills under timed testing conditions. They can be useful pieces of information. But still, they are just pieces of information.

You know much more about your teen than a test score can tell you. You know what subjects interest them, how they handle challenges, what kind of environment brings out the best in them, and what they want from college. Keep using that information as you support their post-high-school goals.

The point of this whole process is to help your teen find colleges or other opportunities where they have a real chance to do well and be happy. If you'd like access to Appily's digital college planner to help your teen stay on track with deadlines or to dig into our pre-vetted scholarship database, click the link below to create a free account.