Is Your High School Senior Ready to Go Away to College?

By Bonnie Lane, student and family support expert

It’s an exciting and emotional milestone when your high school senior prepares for college. Suddenly, going away to school, something that was once just a distant idea, feels very real.

Acceptance letters and financial aid offers may already be arriving, bringing joy, relief, and sometimes anxiety. Your teen might be happily comparing options with friends, or feeling disappointed after being waitlisted or turned down by a dream school.

Observing how your child handles these ups and downs, and reflecting on how they've managed the last couple of years, can give important clues about whether they're truly ready to head off to college.

Mental Health and College Readiness

According to a recent National Education Association study, 44% of college students surveyed reported symptoms of depression, 37% experienced anxiety, and 15% even considered suicide.

Common triggers for these struggles include:

1. Increased academic pressure
    
2. Social stressors and feelings of isolation
    
3. Difficulty managing time and responsibilities independently
    
4. Adjusting to dorm life and a new living environment
    
5. Handling medications for anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc., without parental oversight
    
6. Exposure to substances like today's more potent cannabis
    

In my practice, families often come to me after their child returns home for Thanksgiving or winter break showing clear signs of emotional struggles, like sleeping excessively, withdrawing from friends, or even deciding not to return to school at all.

College Readiness Checklist for Parents

Before packing up the car and dropping your child off in August, take an honest look at these questions:

1. Academic independence: Does your teen complete assignments and meet deadlines without needing constant reminders?
    
2. Balanced lifestyle: Do extracurricular activities, friendships, or social events negatively impact their sleep, eating habits, or attendance at school?
    
3. Self-awareness: Can your child honestly identify their strengths and weaknesses, and do they feel comfortable asking for help when they're struggling?
    
4. Self-advocacy: Can your teen independently seek out support if they face emotional or academic challenges?
    
5. Realistic expectations: Did your teen choose colleges thoughtfully, beyond reasons like distance from home or nicer weather? Are they mature enough to accept family financial constraints?
    
6. Independent applications: Did your teen handle their college applications themselves, including essays, without relying on AI tools, and submit them on time?
    
7. Mental health management: Have they previously been treated for anxiety or depression, and can they manage medications and treatment plans reliably without supervision?
    
8. Crisis planning: Are you comfortable with the distance they'll be from home in case of emergency? If your teen is over 18, consider having them sign a HIPAA release so you can speak with medical providers directly. You might also consider setting up a young-adult power of attorney ("Mama Bear" contract) and tuition insurance to protect your investment if they need to withdraw for health reasons.
    

If answering these questions raises concerns, alternatives like a gap year, community college, or volunteer opportunities can offer valuable time for your child to mature emotionally before heading to a four-year institution.

Remember, college is just one stage in your child's journey. Your ongoing support will help them build resilience, find their footing, and ultimately discover their own unique path.